The Pink Pig

At a Mommy Matter's meeting (it's our version of MOPS) my group was talking about Christmas traditions. Someone mentioned the Pink Pig in Atlanta. That intrigued me, seeing as how it's a Pink Pig and all. How in the world does this tie into Christmas. She began explaining it and it sounded pretty neat to me. Something I thought ALM would love. So when I got go home, I researched it a little. And decided we would go and start a new tradition with Addison and our future children.

The Pink Pig is a train. Her name is Priscilla. It comes every year to Macy's at Lenox Mall in Atlanta. She has been around for over 50 years.  It is housed in a 170-foot, 1950 themed Pink Pig Tent. It debuted in 1953 as a children’s ride at the downtown Rich’s and had a brief stint at the Egleston Children’s Hospital Festival of Trees. The proceeds benefit Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta. To date, Macy’s has donated more than $400,000 to Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta.

Saturday morning came and we were in no rush to get to Atlanta so we took our sweet time. For some reason in my mind, I didn't think it would be too crowded. In my strange mind because it was Dec 11 and the train had been there since Oct 29, everyone else had probably gone already. We got there at 11:00, bought our tickets (we decided to get the double ride) and waited in line for TWO HOURS. The last time I waited in line for something for two hours, I was a teenager at Six Flags. This time was a tad different because we had a TWO YEAR OLD WITH US! It was a battle to keep her happy but between the two of us, we kept her pretty content. We let her run around a little. Play on our phones a little. She did very well considering.

We finally got to the tent and and Priscilla the mascot was there and you could have your picture taken with her. Addison loved her waving at her, but would have NONE of a picture with her. She wanted her to stay at least 10 feet away.

We got in the tent and Addison saw the train... she was in awe. Her sweet little eyes couldn't stay still. She kept saying "Mommy, look! A piggy twain." We got on the train and the entire ride took about 2 minutes, but we rode it twice. I was so worried about her flipping out when we got off, but she did ok. We got her, her very own Priscilla (which sleeps with her to this day in her big girl bed).

Here are some pics from Addison's first Priscilla experience. I am glad we have a new fun tradition that she can look forward to every year.

Waiting in line.

 

Getting tired at this point.

Almost there.

In the back of the train. So excited.

So fun!






Our family



Getting in the train. She was just so excited.

After the ride and she got her own Priscilla.

Christmas 2011 in Bama

* Just a warning. Several Christmas posts to come over the next few days. I am way behind on my blogging. Like three weeks behind. Whoops. There will be pictures galore. Here we go...

Since having Addison and starting our own family, our Christmas celebration locations have changed. We now celebrate Christmas with my mom, dad, brother and his girlfriend in Alabama the weekend before Christmas. This year it was a WHOLE week before Christmas which kind of stunk but was kind of nice at the same time. Plenty of time to prepare for Christmas Eve/Day.

We used to have to juggle lots of Christmases with my family but I no longer have any living grandparents so we just have the one now. It's small and quaint but it's fun and we have traditions.

Last year Addison wasn't even walking so I knew that this year would be lots of fun for her. She is so much more aware this year and she will talk your ears off about Christmas and Jesus' birthday! It's precious.

Our traditional Christmas Eve dinner at my moms always consisted of "little chickens" (I will have to post this recipe soon-not healthy, but amazing), mac and cheese (because I am a kid apparently), cream potatoes and some other yummy sides. The important part is the LITTLE CHICKENS. Oh my gahhh, they are good. My brother and I have called them that for as long as I can remember. Of course we also had sausage balls, chex mix (another tradition) and pecan pie. We really enjoy each others company and we take our time not to be in a rush to open presents because we don't get to spend lots of time together very often.

My mom is a "shopaholic." She knows this. She is an over-doer. However, I am not complaining. But the amount of Christmas gifts under her tree was insane. The way we open presents is my brother and I pass out all the gifts to everyone (there's a TON), then we let Addison open her gifts first, get her occupied, then we each open our presents one by one so we can see what everyone got. I LOVE this. That way, no one misses anything. We don't have limits at my moms or anything. You just buy whoever, whatever and that's that. I love it. We don't ask each other "what do you want?" It's usually all a surprise. We may not be able to financially do that in he future but we sure do enjoy it while we can.

We even buy for each other's dogs. I started the Shih Tzu craze in our family 8 years ago when I got Dansby. Then I got Daizy and my brother wanted one like her. So he and his girlfriend now have two Shih Tzu's and my mom has one too. My dad has a fox terrier mix. So we have six dogs there for Christmas and man do we love our pets :)

We are all so blessed that we are able to buy gifts for each other. I know times are hard right now and I do not take for granted what my family does for me at Christmas time. I am so thankful for all the gifts that my family receives. And I really enjoy giving better than getting. Seriously!

Here are some pics from our fun day/night with my family in Alabama.

She's playing with my new iPhone (thanks mom)



Family picture

Addison and daddy

Rocking in my oldrocking chair!

Addison and (my mom) her Grammy.

Addison and (my dad) her Paw

Getting ready to open gifts!

She loves her JoJo and Gina (my brother and his girlfriend)

Here we go. Time to open presents!

She loves Thomas theTrain. Giving him a kiss.

Her new Tiger spinbrush!

A tad bit in love with Toy Story.

My dad started buying her these her 1st Christmas. It's a tradition now.

Her new lion towel.

A Thomas train set. She gasped!

Ohhhh what's next??

My dad insisted on buying her a snow suit :) It's been 70 this week so not sure if she will ever get to wear it.

A fire truck. She asked for this. Cracks me up.

Cheesin' for mommy

Helping Grammy open gifts with Lotso.

I choose...

... to accept my life as God gives it to me and try my best not to ask "Why?"

... to believe that our second child is sitting with Jesus today in Heaven.

... to allow myself to cry and grieve over our loss when I want to.

... to not have a pity party over our loss though.

... to move on, try again and put it all in God's hands.

... to praise God through this storm.

... to really feel the tears that I cry.

... to lean on God for understanding.

... to teach our child that Christmas is really all about Jesus' birth.

... to give Addison my undivided attention when she wants it.

... to teach Addison the ways of God and do my best to keep her from the ways of the world.

... to commit myself to being a good example to her of what real faith, service and love looks like.

... to trust and love with all my heart, even though sometimes it will be broken because of it.

... to work hard to be a better wife, mother and Christian everyday.

... to feel happiness.

... to accept and adore the friendships God has given me.

... to be aware of every blessing, big and small, that God has given us.

... to do all these things in God's name.

Chipper

Last year, my mom and I were out shopping and ran across an "Elf on the Shelf." I had heard about it but knew nothing about it, but my mom had. She told me about it and asked if I wanted one for Addison. I said sure and so the tradition was born. We had him last year but she was so young she didn't "get it" so he sat in one place the whole month of December. This year we got him out and we read the book for the first time and she listened so closely and she really seemed to like it and be amazed at him. She seemed to get the concept of who he was and what his mission was. The no touching. The "he's watching." That he visits Santa every night while we sleep and comes back to a new place every morning. We talk about how he visits Santa and tells him if she's been a good girl or bad. I know she doesn't totally get it, but she definitely understands something. She named ours Chipper. Or as she calls him, Chippah.

Every morning when she wakes up, the first thing she says is "Gotta find Chippah." And off she goes. She always looks in the most obvious places because at first, that's where we put him. Then she will say, "Mommy I don't see him." I will give her a clue like "Go look in the kitchen." When she finally sees him she yells, "I see him. I see him. Good morning Chippah!" It is absolutely precious. She tells him good night too before she goes to bed. She just loves him. And I am so so glad she "gets" that we can't touch. She has never even tried. Whew.

A few places Chipper has shown up: (we don't do the messy things-I'm too OCD and don't want her thinking she can do those things-haha)

The pocket of my Christmas apron (I told her he must have tried to cook)

Hugging one of our 12 Days of Christmas glasses on the table (I told her he must have been thirsty)

Wrapped around the stocking hanger that looks like a present (I told her he must have tried to wrap a present)

Hanging from the curtain rod (I told her he we must have caught him coming back from the North Pole)

On the bookcase (I told her he must really like to read)

Another thing she always has to know is "How did he get up there?" And I HAVE to give a loooong, elaborate story about how he got to where he is. It's so so cute.

It was very important to us that Addison know about the REAL meaning of Christmas. I didn't want her caught up in Chipper, Santa, presents, etc. So when we sat down to talk about Chipper, we told her that Chipper was an elf sent from the North Pole where Santa lives. And that he would be watching her to see if she was good or bad. We made it very clear that God was watching too, that He was the most important one and he ALWAYS wants us to be good. We told her that God provides the presents but that Santa delivers them for Him. We told her that God has already given us the best present of all and that we have that present with us everyday. She looked at us kind of confused. I told her that Jesus is God's gift to us. I know she can't wrap her precious, little, mind around how a person could be a gift and I can't wait to explain that to her one day when she's older. We read books about Christmas at bedtime and I hope some of that is sinking into her sweet little mind. I think it is.

If you ask her whose birthday is Christmas, she will say "Jesus!" (she will also tell you we are going to sing and she gets to blow out the candles). If you ask her who provides the presents, she will say "God." If you ask her who delivers them to our house, she will say "Santa." And ask her what God's gift to us is and she will say, "Jesus."

I say that's a good start, don't you?

Christmas Season

Beware: Random/Jumbled thoughts ahead.

I am very thankful that our Christmas season isn't too hectic or crazy. I got all my shopping done weeks ago and did most of it online (thanks Amazon). Wrapped everything in three days and tada... I've been relaxing ever since. That was my goal this year. Have everything done so I could really enjoy the entire Christmas season. Here's a glance into what our Christmas celebrating looks like:

Dec 16-18: Alabama with my parents
- We will celebrate Christmas there Saturday night with my brother and his wife. I have no living grandparents so the BIG Christmas celebrations no longer exist on my side of the family. I have always loved being in the comfort of my childhood home celebrating Christmas. There's something very special about that.
- Since there's only 6 adults and one child, we still buy everyone presents. Multiples presents. My mom is a shopaholic so she really goes overboard (but I am thankful for her overboard-ness). It's fun because we open our presents one at a time so everyone sees what everyone gets. I love that. It takes us over an hour but it's precious family time that I try to soak in.
- Every year my mom makes what we refer to as "little chickens." I will have to get the recipe from her and y'all HAVE to make them. They aren't healthy but they are the best thing ever. We will have macaroni and cheese (because I like to pretend I am still 5). My dad will make sausage balls. We will have chex mix. Made be ME :) We will have a couple of deserts and some other sides but the above mentioned are traditions. Staples, if you will.
- I love the time that we get to spend together all weekend. We used to always celebrate Christmas Eve at my moms but once we had Addison, we wanted her to be at home so Santa could visit her there. I know she might not be home EVERY Christmas but if we can help it, we would like to.

Christmas Eve: Church then Adam's parents
- Last year we started a tradition of going to the Christmas Eve service at our church. They have two different services: one for families with young children and then a regular service. We obviously go to the first one. They both start at 5 pm and are over before 6. We take the Lord's Supper. It's a special service for these young children who are learning what the REAL meaning of Christmas is. I'm very excited to keep this tradition going.
- After it's over, we head to Adam's parents house. And it's a house full :) Us three, Adam's parents, his sister and her husband, our three nephews, Adam's MaMaw and his Granny and Grandpa.
- His mom will have lots of goodies and we will open presents. We draw names and have a $100 limit. With a family this big, that helps the budget. We do all buy the kids something though.
- I am very blessed to have such great in-laws and family. They treat me like I am one of their own and that's a special feeling. I am thankful that Addison has two sets of grandparents that adore her.

Christmas Day: Our house
- Christmas Day will be different for us this year than any year before... you know why?? Because this is Addison's first Christmas walking :) This is the first year she really "gets" Santa and the fact that he will bring presents.
- We are going to start a tradition this year of baking a cake and singing happy birthday to Jesus and having some prayer time and read to her about the real meaning of Christmas.
- My parents will come into town that morning to visit and see what she got from Santa and Adam's parents will come over that afternoon too.
- I will make breakfast and some snacks for the day but we don't have a big Christmas lunch/dinner. Adam's Granny makes Christmas lunch but with my parents in town, we have never gone before. But we'll see.
- Our church is having one service at 11:00 Christmas morning but they aren't providing childcare so we aren't going to try and wrestle her for an hour. We will worship on Christmas Eve.
- I like the fact that we just relax and don't have anywhere to be Christmas Day. As a Christian, I want to focus on that day and what it really means for us. Sometimes it becomes emotionally overwhelming to think of the REAL meaning of that day. What it really means to us. But I want to always be teaching Addison that. I want her to "get it" so bad. I long for the day that God opens her eyes and reveals His truth to her. Oh what a joyous day that will be.

I can't believe Christmas is almost here. That's CRAZY to me. It's been a wonderful year. We have had a lot go on in our family. Lots of changes. But we are good. We are better than ever probably. Stronger. Wiser. More full of faith.

I can't wait to post pictures of Addison and this wonderful Christmas I know we will have. And I can't wait to see all of y'alls posts and pictures too. Merry Christmas friends!

In other news...

I am always amazed at how God works. How He guides His children along the path that is HIS plan and not ours. I am in awe daily of His wonderful ways.

Right before we received our devastating news, we actually received some GREAT news. It just immediately got overshadowed but today I am excited to share.

So y'all may remember when I told you that Adam got a promotion that would be taking us to Birmingham, Alabama. When he took it, we prayed hard about it and had others praying too. We were certain that God wanted us there. Everything just felt right and we had a definite peace about our decision. How could that NOT be from God? We thought that if we followed God's direction that our house would sell in a decent amount of time. Adam went to Birmingham in July. Staying with my parents and some friends and commuting back and forth to LaGrange some. We put our house up for sale and we waited...

Now here we are, it's six months later and we have had not ONE bite on our house. We knew the market was bad, but come on...not ONE! Something wasn't right! We had both been praying about what God wanted us to do. I mean, I was pregnant and we knew we would have a baby in June and he couldn't be gone when the baby arrived. Did he need to look for a new job? WHAT WHAT WHAT!!!

I had prayed for some specific answers the night before Adam called me to tell me that he had gotten a new boss. In a random email from a VP, he had been told his boss was gone and here was his new boss' name. No questions/answers. Nada. He was told his new boss would be calling him within the day. It's important to note here that Adam LOVED his old boss. She was awesome. He had never had a good boss before her. She cared about his well being in the company and she cared about his family. She was awesome when we had Addison. She gave him time off and didn't even make him take vacation for it. She was just a good person and great boss.

When the new boss did call. They talked for TWO HOURS. Holy cow. Just typing that stresses me out. But the talk turned out to be a great one. The new boss asked Adam about his family and situation, etc. Adam told him about how he was in Birmingham and we were in LaGrange and how I was pregnant, etc. They just kind of had a "get to know each other" chat.

Well, a few hours later... his boss called him back and said, "I have an offer for you." (When he told me this...I immediately panicked). He said, "What if I let you keep your promotion, send you back and your territory can be Columbus/Auburn/LaGrange/Peachtree City/Newnan? And within a few years we will get you to Atlanta territory." (Atlanta is where you need to be in order to move up in this company). Adam told him he needed to talk to me and he would get back to him the next day. We talked it over (I think he was terrified of my reaction after the way I reacted to Birmingham) and we ultimately decided that we clearly didn't correctly discern God's will when we prayed about Birmingham. I don't know how else to explain this. So we won't be moving after all. Let me explain that within this company these kinds of moves DON'T HAPPEN OFTEN. As in, hardly EVER. I was in SHOCK over Birmingham and I am still shocked over this. We both think that his new boss was scared that June would come and Adam would find another job to be closer to. The fact that his boss values the work he does for this company and values his well being with his family...I mean wow. That's rare ladies and gentlemen.

It was ironic (but not really) that the day after I had prayed so specifically for some answers, that God laid out a perfect plan for us. His perfect plan. I am so thankful that although we made the wrong decision about Birmingham, that He pulled us back where we belong, where He would have us.

I am really excited. I was really dreading leaving lately. We have made some amazing friends over the last 6 months. (Isn' that funny that God chose those 6 months to really settle us here and basically hand us over these amazing, godly friends? I mean we have some precious friends that we have had for years, but God really settled us and opened our eyes to what was here for us). We have grown to love and adore our church and church family. We were scared to live in a city with no family. Scared of starting over, and now we don't have to. All these little things, not coincidences, God things...they just fell into place.

And now I think about the loss of our child. Yeah, for me, the timing sucked. It's the holidays, lots of my friends are pregnant, but looking back, timing was great. Adam will be home FOR GOOD after the first of the year, and for this, we PRAISE GOD! When we get to try again for another baby, Adam will be home. When I have a tough day, Adam will be home. It brings tears to my eyes how awesome our God is. How His love and His promises are never ending.

So amidst our bad news, we find good and we praise God through it all. I have been listening to Casting Crowns "Praise You in This Storm" a lot. If you haven't listened to it yet, do. NOW! Especially if you are going through something that leaves you sad. This song is the perfect reminder that we need to praise God through our good times and even our storms.

Before I go, I want to take a second to thank each and every one of you that have been praying for us, left a comment, sent an email or text, mailed us cards, sent us flowers or meals and /or kept us in your thoughts. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. It meant the world to me to read your encouraging comments and messages. It helped more than you know. Several of you were kind enough to share your story and I thank you so. Your prayers have been felt so much and I am so thankful for this community and the support you have given us in this difficult time. We have a peace that passes understanding and we praise God for that. We will have tough days ahead but we know God is surrounding us with his peace and love and for us, that's good enough.



Our loss

This will be, without a doubt, the hardest post I have ever written. It will be long, emotional and deep. Tears will be shed as I type this out because this is a raw post that I want to journal and remember.
On Wednesday, December 6, we went to the doctor to hear our sweet baby's heartbeat. But there was nothing to hear. We learned that day, that we had lost our baby. Our sweet baby had gone to be with Jesus. And THAT my friends, is where I find my peace today.

Wednesday, I was 13 weeks. So relieved that the first trimester was over. That's the crucial time. That's when you n relax, and worry a little less. Except my worry turned into full on panic as our nurse couldn't find a heartbeat with the Doppler. She told me not to worry before she ever started the Doppler because I was only 13 weeks and it may be tough to find since the baby was still so small. So for the first 30+ seconds (that felt like 15 minutes) I didn't panic. But after a minute, I looked over at Adam with huge tears in my eyes. And I knew. I just knew. It's something only a mother can feel. And I never understood when people said "I knew something was wrong." I didn't get it. Until that moment. I had a fear a few weeks ago that something wasn't right. But I prayed through it. Nothing felt wrong physically but then again it did emotionally. But I didn't tell anyone out of fear that I was being paranoid.

I was very sick and nauseous for the first 9 weeks and then suddenly things got so much better. I had my energy back (which I didn't get back with Addison for 20+ weeks), I wasn't sick anymore and I just felt better all around. I was so thankful for that. But today, it all adds up. When I was feeling better, that's when our baby's heart stopped beating. That is a gut wrenching feeling.

When the nurse couldn't find the heartbeat after a couple of minutes, my heart sank. But she still insisted that we not panic. She wanted to get the doctor and do a sonogram. So I said a silent prayer and knew that God was in control and felt some peace at that moment.

We sat in the sonogram room for an hour. WITH ADDISON. Trying to entertain a 2 year old when you are scared is tough. As strange as it sounds, I felt a peace, but I also felt nervous. Adam and I didn't talk much about what "could be." I don't think either of us wanted to go there. Neither of us wanted to imagine it could happen to us. I mean, it couldn't, right? Finally our doctor came in, started the sonogram, and without the sound up on the machine, I knew immediately. I could see our baby on the screen and I knew it wasn't a 13 week baby. I could see it hadn't grown to what it should be. But I waited patiently without completely losing it. He then told us the most horrifying words I have ever heard in my life, "No, Lyndsey, I don't see a heartbeat. I'm so sorry." And I lost it. I mean, like I have never lost it before. It was as if someone had punched me in the stomach and tore my heart out all at once. About 30 seconds later, I opened my eyes filled with tears and saw my sweet Addison clinching her daddy's shirt out of fear because she had never seen her mommy cry before. And my heart broke again. The doctor called another doctor in to confirm there was no heartbeat. I barely remember all that, because I was a complete mess.

I could not pull it together. The thought that my baby was no longer alive, was too much to bare. I never could have imagined in a million years the pain I would feel. It's indescribable. I don't know how to explain it, except to say, I lost a part of me that day. My body was helping grow and develop that baby for 13 weeks and now, no more. I know how much I love Addison and how much I loved this baby and the thought of not holding this baby, kissing this baby, watching this baby grow up into the person God made them to be...that alone was enough to send me to my knees.

The rest of the doctor's visit was awful. I don't remember much, just bits and pieces. The doctor told me I had three options. The first two were NOT an option for me. They were basically to miscarry at home, naturally. He told me it would be painful and there would be risks such as infection and hemorrhaging. That scared me enough and it could take a while to happen. Emotionally, I just couldn't do that. So we decided to do a D and C. Then the thought of being put under anesthesia freaked me out, but again...all options suck, but that felt like the best for me. So we scheduled the D and C for Thursday at 12:00 pm. We were home by lunchtime and I was a mess. But I didn't want to lay and cry. I wanted to pray and talk to God and I wanted to stay busy. So I did just that. I stayed in Addison's room alone for a while and kept busy but I also cried. A lot. I prayed. A lot. One thing I didn't do was ask "Why?" I knew God had His reasons. I wanted to praise Him in this storm. And I did. My sadness is still present today. And I am aware that the sadness over this loss may never completely go away. But I do know that we will have more children one day. I know, for sure, I feel God calling me to have more children.

I have talked to lots of women over several days who have suffered the same kind of loss. It's insane to me how common this is. Scary really. My best friend went through this a year ago and just a few weeks ago, she welcomed a beautiful, healthy baby boy. Praise God for that.

Thursday we had to be at the hospital at 10:00 am. My mom and dad came into town that morning and were at the hospital the whole time. Adam's dad was there also. His mom picked Addison up from school and took care of her for us. My surgery went fine. The procedure was about 20-30 minutes. I was in recovery for an hour. I was in more pain than the doctor wanted me to be because he had to give me extra medicine to keep my uterus firm. So all afternoon Thursday I was having contractions. Like, having a baby, dilated to a 5 contractions. It was tough. Feeling those the same way I did with Addison, but not having a baby was a struggle. I am healing physically and emotionally. We can't try for another baby for several months. That's tough. But I also know it's necessary. So, we shall wait. And we shall try again.

If I am being honest, I have had lots of selfish thoughts over the past two days. Like, "Was this a boy or a girl?" "I wanted THIS baby and I wanted it in June!" "Would he/she been like me or Adam?" "What would he/she look like?" "I don't want to wait three months to try." I could go on and on. And I realize how trivial and small and selfish they all are. I told Adam before I even say it, I know how ridiculous it sounds. But they are natural thoughts, I have to assume. I have prayed that God would forgive me for these selfish thoughts.

My heart aches, even today, but I know that God is in complete control of my life. And I would have it NO other way. I wouldn't want anyone else in the drivers seat. Even myself. I know that He knows best. That His plan for my life is perfect. I seek only His will and I praise Him through it.

These Bible verses really hit home for me more now than ever:

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

"And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19

"As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother’s womb,
so you cannot understand the work of God, the Maker of all things." Ecclesiastes 11:5

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

" So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

I want to personally thank each and every one of you that prayed for me, even if you didn't know exactly what was going on. I felt every prayer. I thank God for those prayers. They, alone, are what got me through the day of the surgery and the days to follow. I felt a great peace and contentment that can only come from God through prayer. Thank you for all of your calls, texts, messages, emails, flowers, meals...everything! I could never repay you for the kindness you have displayed to me and my family. Between family, friends and our church family, we have just been bathed in prayer the last several days. May God bless you all.

I know we have a long, never ending, road ahead. The sense of loss is strong today, but I know that God is with us. We will never forget this baby. We will always have one child in Heaven. Although we never knew that child, it was still ours. God gave us that child and we loved it already. We were so excited to welcome it into this world. But God had greater plans. So we give this baby to God. And we still praise Him. For we trust in the Lord our God more than we trust in anything else. And THAT, is what will give us great peace ALWAYS!

To our sweet baby: We will see you again. We will meet you one day face to face. We will kiss your face and touch your skin and feel your heartbeat. What a joyous day that will be. Until then, knowing you have seen Jesus' face and will walk with him always will give us great strength and peace.